we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
