she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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