i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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