I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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