I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
