I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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