your parents love me but you hate me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
