Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
