why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
love makes seman taste better
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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