maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize