what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
