Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just cropdusted the office
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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