Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
