I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
