Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
