GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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