the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
this will be a night to untag.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
