my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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