If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
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