I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
