It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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