So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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