glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
