glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize