its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
then he tried to convert me to islam
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
