He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
