doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My penis needs a shock collar
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
