my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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