Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Let's get the cat blown out
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
