I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
