Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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