Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
