We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
