I'm lost and stupid without you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
