whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
