Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
