He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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