last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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