I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
