he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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