I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
