To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
