I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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