The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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