Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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