You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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