Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
