What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
