His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
