Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
