Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
