Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
