Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
All I want is dick and wine.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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