No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
