Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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