Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Randomize
