I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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